Erno’s grandma once told me how lucky I am. You have a washing machine, she said. We had to do the laundry by hand back in the days. We washed in the river. The water was cold as ice, it hurt our hands. It was hard work. It killed us. Our hands, our backs. Everything hurt the day after. You have a vacuum cleaner. All we had was a broom. You have a fridge, you have a car, you have electricity, you have central heating, you have everything! You even have a dryer and a dishwasher, my girl! Be thankful! Housework must be as easy as pie!
And I tried! I tried so hard to be thankful for all these things. And I still try to remember her words of wisdom on the days I struggle with all my chores. Or the days when I just hate the mess around me, and also my life per se like pretty much.
You know I love cleaning, it helps me clear my mind, it keeps me busy when I’m full of toxic thoughts. I love the feeling of a clean home so much I normally am willing to do anything to have one. But sometimes, lately, as well as right f*cking now I feel it’s just too much. I feel like a robot. A handmaid in my own house. Like the house owns me, and I serve it, and not the other way around, as it should be…
I end up complaining quite often. For example when I notice that the kitchen sink is full. AGAIN! For like the 2nd time on that very day, therefore I need to put everything in the dishwasher. AGAIN!!! Then I open the dishwasher and I find it full. Full of clean dishes I now have to sort first. Or worse! Full of dirty dishes because I forgot to run it last time I filled it.
And I try to breathe, to calm down, to remind myself how hard it must have been for Erno’s grandmother. How hard it still is for many many woman around the world even today, in 2021. Doing the dishes with no running water inside the house, without hot water or without a dishwasher. But I only feel even worse afterwards. Because I still pity myself because of the dishes, plus I feel sad about all those women. And I also feel super bad about myself. About how ungrateful I am.
But am I really?
Idk… I mean, yeah sure. Whenever life sucks, no matter how much it does, there will always be someone in a worst situation then you. But I guess it’s not a competition? I think that we all have the right to feel overwhelmed, a lack of motivation, and well… not happy about a sink full of dirty dishes. Even if we have a dishwasher. A dishwasher which, to be honest, never filled itself. Or did yours? 🤭 Because mine doesn’t have that feature. I still need to use my own hands and time to rinse the dishes and put them in it, after I sorted the clean ones out of it. Sometimes, I swear, I feel like it was easier to just wash them by hand.
My point is that with or without a dishwasher, no matter what others say, household chores will never be as easy as pie. Because the worst part of it, the part what kills us, is that it’s constant. That it’s a never ending story. That no matter how much you do, there will always be some more…